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| 02:01am 22/05/2005 |
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i'm so lame |
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| fuck this |
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| 09:36pm 24/04/2005 |
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ok. so I am fucking sick of everything. I dont know where else to write this or who to say it to so I just have to get it out. I feel like I want to fucking kill myself. I am so sick of EVERYONES fake bullshit. everyone is fake. I am so sick of getting yelled at by my parents about NOTHING. they are fucking nuts. I hate when they yell for NO REASON. they act like if they dont yell I wont hear what they are saying. and i hate how everything I say is a verbal attack on someone. I am sick of my parents acting like school is a breeze and that I could find a job just by saying I want one. I am sick of them using every little thing they do for me as a guilt trip to get me to do something.. I AM YOUR FUCKING KID, ITS YOUR FUCKING JOB! I know I sound like a fucking spoiled brat but that who I am and this is how I feel and I am just sick of bullshit.
aldsfhljdfh
fuck everything. |
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| Sleeping all day, will not make you less tired..will it? |
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| 01:57pm 14/12/2004 |
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So school was supposed to start late today, at 9:20. My Mom, Stepdad, and Sister left at 7:30. I woke up at 1:40.. I think I missed school? oh well, I must have been really tired.
I like christmas, but for some reason it is depressing. I need to get a job. I need to stop complaining. I need to stop everything. I dont even know what i am saying.
bye
-Matthew |
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| you think you know someone and then they turn out to be something totally different.. |
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| 11:58pm 05/12/2004 |
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mood:  blah music: drugs or me - jimmy eat world
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I am tired. I dont want to go to school but who does. This weekend I was at my dads and helped them move. I went to the art museum for five and a half hours today and voluntered to help kids, it was so exhausting..
I think I need something to make me happy and I dont know what it is.
My exgirlfriend is a bitch.
My family is annoying.
I am spoiled
I hate myself
I quit..
-Matthew |
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| love new cds.hate exgirlfriends.love text messages.hate classmates.love myself.hate myself. |
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| 05:54pm 29/11/2004 |
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mood:  disappointed music: jimmy eat world
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I love my new Jimmy eat world cd. I wish sarah was still at our school.
I was reading people's myspace things today, mostly people that go to my school.. Could their level of lame-ness get any higher? No. Some people are just nasty as fuck..
I am tired, overworked, sick of people, spoiled, stupid, mad, lame, sad.. and i need something to make me feel better.. what i need I do not know.
Life Aspirations: Turn 18, finish high school, get away from this place..
Au revoir mon amour.
~matthew |
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| These quiz things are always so accurate.. |
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| 12:20am 29/11/2004 |
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mood:  confused music: drugs or me - Jimmy Eat World
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You are "When the Curious Girl Realizes She is
Under Glass". You like thoughts of being
with loved ones and being devoted. You tend to
be selfish, but in an artistic way, or at least
you claim it is for art. Oh yeah, and pills are
very good friends of yours. (or they should
be.)
Which BRIGHT EYES song are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
-----------------------------
I do like the thoughts of being with loved ones, the past haunts me, and I let it (?) I am often pretty selfish, I mean, thats just how I am, but it is for art.. And yes, its so true, Pills are good friends of mine, sometimes. They're all legal.. Why, I dont know.
Goodnight my love, whoever you are.
~Matthew |
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| So.. this is the new year? |
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| 11:32pm 23/11/2004 |
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I cant wait for 2005!
I got my copy of Alternative Press today.. and it has a list of all the cds coming out in 2005.. The list of bands I love that are coming out with new cds is as follows:
alkaline trio
boys night out
bight eyes
coheed and cambria
dashboard confessional
death cab for cutie
the early november
fall out boy
matchbook romance
thursday
HOW AWESOME IS THAT?!?!?!
Alright, I am going to sleep.
~Matthew
ps - HUGE VEGAN DINNER WITH MAX AND BRIT THIS WEEKEND!
also.. STOP ASKING ME WHERE SARAH IS!!! |
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| 11:00pm 17/11/2004 |
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mood: disappointed music: all on black - alkaline trio
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life is just ridiculous..
~Matthew
P.S. - I was going to put depressed on the mood thing but what fag does that? |
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| 01:09am 03/11/2004 |
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this weekend was pretty fun..
I am kinda pissed because I think bush is gonna win..
I feel like crap.. I have strep throat and I am just fucked up..
~Matthew |
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| 10:15pm 25/10/2004 |
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I havent updated in a while. I dont know. Everything is so repetitive it doesnt really make a difference.
Things are ok I guess. I always feel sad? Its dumb. I am getting a job soon. School kinda sucks, but everyone has to do it.
More updates later?
- Matthew |
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| Everything is changing, but it is also all staying the same.. |
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| 08:24pm 10/10/2004 |
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Life has become boring.. full of routines, so predictable. It doesnt matter, I'm just saying.. Nothing new ever happens, and If something that seems new happens, it is just something old recycled.. I dont know, I am just talking to hear myself talk I guess..
I dont really have much to say and I dont feel the need to write in here, yet, I dont want to delete my journal, because then I would have no where to complain, or talk to people who are many miles away. This thing has become pointless, but it also retains its purpose?
I dont know, everything contradicts itself..
~Matthew |
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| 11:16pm 23/09/2004 |
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I quit.. |
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| Courtney Love has a band named Hole.. |
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| 07:48pm 21/09/2004 |
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Today I stayed home because last night I was sick and didnt sleep so I stayed home to sleep. Then I went to youth group because I signed up to help and because it was mark's birthday.. Yeah, that was fun.
Tommorow i have a lot of shit due at school. I dont want to go..
I am sick of everything. Seriously. My anti-depressants dont work and that isnt a joke. I am always upset and sad. what the fuck else is new..
I am so tired. (I stayed home all day so that makes sense?)
~Matthew |
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| Hey Amber, I mean steve, I need you to call me back..thanks.. |
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| 12:11am 21/09/2004 |
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Today was boring and uneventful. After school I came home and took a nap. Then I woke up and had cold soup for dinner. Then when my mom got home at 9:30 I went to pick up sarah and we drove around the metroparks and then we went back to her house and made funny answering machine messages.. How awesome is that bitches? Pretty awesome if i do say so myself..
Yeah, I have a lot of homework to finish but I will probably just go to bed..
Your Hippie Dude Name is: Zephyrus
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~Matthew |
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| Records on the floor, I'm giving back whats yours, remember us last weekend.. |
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| 03:49pm 18/09/2004 |
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I slept in today, kinda.. and then I took my sister to the pet store to get some food for her hampster.. tonight is the family birthday dinner for my mom.. then after dinner, I am going to some party at this girl, kayleigh's house in columbia station, who goes to my youth group.. that should be fun.. depending on your definition of fun? haha. I dont know.
I am always so tired. I have to go finish reading George Orwell's 1984, and then I have to find and summarize three critical articles on Orwell for my research paper..
~Matthew |
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| another wasted night.. the television steals our conversation.. |
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| 10:35pm 17/09/2004 |
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I got home from school and slept for a while.. got up and picked up my sister and her friend from the dance.. Then at like 11 me and sarah went out driving around, and drove by the airport. Life is stupid and un eventful.. Livejournal is bullshit sometimes. The stuff I want to write about in here, I cant, because I dont want people to read it.. and the stuff I can write in here is really boring..
yeah..
~Matthew |
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| Blood Red Summer? More like long gone summer.. |
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| 10:57pm 12/09/2004 |
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music: Blood Red Summer - Coheed and Cambria
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I am listening to blood red summer and for some reason it reminds me of when we were in hilton head, it makes me sad. I think its because that was the begining of summer and it is making me realize summer is over. I dont know, I mean, school itself isnt so bad, its just, the people are so annoying and lame. I wish it was summer again. Just for another month. Next summer is going to be good, mostly because it is Next Summer. I dont know why, but when I drive by evans street it makes me sad. I know he was sarahs friend but I miss going to his house. It brings back memories of last year, when we would take the bus to lakewood and go to evans and walk around in the snow.. It made life seem more realistic.. I dont know, I just really dont like rocky river.
~Matthew |
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| Who left the mystery machine running again? |
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| 11:43pm 07/09/2004 |
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So this weekend was pretty gay. Friday came home and sleep. Saturday Homework to the extreme. Sunday, sarah and I saw mean girls in willoughby hills.. The movie was moderately funny but the people behind us making comments were even better.. Monday drove around. Tonight, went to youth group.. Saw some friends I havent seen all summer so that was good.. Ex girlfriend was being a bitch.. Left early because I was annoyed and not many people were there.. Went to sarahs and studied for history and she showed me her stuffed cats again that joe got her.. haha, I think she thinks they are real?
Came home and did my english homework. I am going to sleep because i stayed up til five yesterday..
Goodnight, sleep tight, dont let the hurt and sorrow bite, oh wait, I'm too late..
~Matthew |
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vegankid123's journal
tired